written on my wrist in a form of art just to show myself how much i've broken myself apart
my friends all yell at me to just stop they don't know how addicting it truly is you can't just put the razors away and be done with it
That's when the puzzle was finally pieced We compromised until our bodies seized To some we seem like colder creatures well We were warm until we went to hell
Part my ribs like the sea and change me 'cause stone doesn't beat and rock hearts don't pump anything but I've grown not to mind because at least stone doesn't sling like blood or spill like guts across the floor where the bloodsuckers want more and more and more
Sometimes the happiest people you know are the saddest people you will ever meet.
I don't tell anyone about this pain i'm feeling, i don't want to bring them down with me. each scrap in my skin releaves the anger. this razor has seen the worst of me.
everyday is harder to get through, and i'm running out of happiness.
Something's amissing.
12:49 AM NICOLE♥
Tuesday, June 5, 2007.
So, yesterday was maid's birthday. Momma baked her birthday cake :D Ahah, yogurt cake :D Gave the present me & Joey bought. AHAHA. (:
Today went to TM, waited for Joey's mother to fetch us to Tampines Library. Wore same shoes(different colour), clip, colour shirt, tied almost the same hair style? Cause I bought that shoe(the shoe I was wearing) like last year? Super small. So walked & walked, then like 1/24 or the base like peeled off? LOL.
Walked around wholeeeee library, then realise that we don't have some lame digital library account? So can't use the library's computer-.-
Borrowed a book, then realised that, actually, I haven't returned some books. Or I returned late. Rofl luhhhh. So walked to Tampines Mall. Walked up to level four/three(forgot), near the neoprints shop already, then saw Tiffanie with her Sec1 friends, ROFL LUHH. I didn't recognised her at first, then she suddenly waved to me. LOL, So obviously I waved back and say Hi. So continued walking towards to neoprints shop.
Went changing notes to coins that time, suddenly, some weird looking but smexy creature hit me and the back. And said, "HIIIIIIII!!!!!!!" She jumped around like a frog. & it's Nicky.
AHAHAHA. Took those card type of neoprints with Joey first, then took the normal stickers one with Joey & Nic.
Laminated the card one, The stickers one divided luh. Just that the ugly one I took and threw it away. HEHHHHHHHHHH :D
So faster ran down to Mcdonalds to take a quick lunch. Ate,Ate,Ate.
Then ran up to GV Cinema. Watched Pirates of the Carribean. Nachos and the usuals larh.
After watching went to Popular to buy some stuffs. At first wna buy school shoe, but, lazy like shit. So didn't buy.
Went to HappyThots, then TheWalletShop. Can't find any nice stuff?
Took 38 home. Ate, Bathe, Then Joey went home.
Watched Cantonese drama with parents. Damn happy cause the freaking stupid loser shitxz 2nd wife finally kanna kick out of the house. HAHAHA.
I'm not going to log in Msn or whatever till I've done my tuition homework. Or at least 3/4. And I must at least do 2 test papers. MUSTMUSTMUST.
Oh and Jack Sparrow is damnnnnnnn shuai with make-up.
& Without makeup.
And this is the very sad song in Pirates of the Carribean: At the world's end.
Story of my life Searching for the right But it keeps avoiding me Sorrow in my soul Cause it seems that wrong Really loves my company
So, took taxi to school. The taxi-driver was superrrrrr friendly luh. Talked & talked.
Reached school at around 8 15? Thought I will be the earliest or something? But like almost 3/4 of the pupils already there.
So whateverrrrrr. Did the usuals(LOL)
Supplementary was superrrrrrr random. MrsLee bought cakes. Beginning was alright, till the ending part? Was suppose to write down a question regarding the provided paragraph of a story. She didn't elaborate like what type of question, so I just like write a question that don't have the answer in the paragraph. She scolded luh. I just like give a no expression face. Maybe I don't really understand what does the word LAUGH means. Then she said that I was trying to be funny.
She also said something like: I scold you, you laugh, I ask you to answer your own question, you shrug, then you laugh, then now I scold you, you laugh. Seems like I need to call someone's father tonight. 10 demerit points!
Maybe I smiled, but I didn't LAUGH. Whatever, I want it. LOL, ok, seriously, whatever.
Then Mrslee asked Joey? When she was answering she suddenly like didn't know how to pronounce the words -.- From old woman to old wo men. Everybody laughed.
Then Mrslee : Don't try to be funny okay!! -then I forgot- LOL LUHHHHHH.
Went home at 12 45. Cam whore loserxszx.
Sexy Peiqin.
Sexy siying.
Sexy Qianyu
135 came, so rannnnn for it. Went to Eastpoint with Joey to buy Lulu's bday present :D Both of us bought a damn cheap pencil case, clips, super cute hurr (:
Watching Pirates of the Carribean tomorrow, with momma & Joey. Momma don't wna sponsor us Neoprints ):
Intend to meet Joey at 11 Simei 7/11. Then take train to tampines, do tuition homework at Tampines's library. :D
Oops, I changed my skin again-.-
4:06 PM NICOLE♥
Sunday, June 3, 2007.
I know, I know. I really should stop changing skins. But it's soooo addictive >):
11:43 PM NICOLE♥
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I'm not going to take the first step, cause you know I can't, cause you know I can't accept reality.
Stop make me miss you, Stop make me skip a beat when I see you, Stop all this shit.
No, I'm not going to cry over you. It's not because I'm over you. It's just because I'm not feeling anything, except this numbed sensation.
Boy, let's get Emotional.
10:50 PM NICOLE♥
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Holding tightly onto the balloons, like I never want to let you go.
Back from lagoon.
Very good place to gain weight. ROFL. Ate super lots of stuff >): Cockles(HUM,LOL),GongGong(ROFLROFL), SquiSqui(LOL), Rojak, Omelette, Chicken wings. EtcEtc. The food name super funny luh. Imagine the amount of fats ): Talked about how many piercing my brother have & stuff. But he took out all, cause he say, he's different, he don't follow the trend. LOL, PUKES LUH.
Walked around East Coast Park. Very emo place, I think. Make me think of super loads of stuff? Saw someone look super like Benedict's back view. ROFL.
Lots of people water-ski-ing(or whatever you call it) Muscular like crazy.(girls & boys) Tease bro that if he water-ski, our whole family will be like a cheer leading team, taking pompoms and cheer for him. My ass. ROFL.
Gna home, walked to dad's car, that realised he tio summon $10, cause his coupon time has exceed by 1hour. yadayada, used bro's phone to send me songs. Veryveryvery emo songs. But damn nice! :D
Reached home, bathe, watched My Sassy Girl for awhile, then didn't watch already cause was pretty boring? Went outside then realise parents was watching this stupid fighting show.
So now blogging? :D Mother agreed to let me take taxi to school tomorrow cause she knows I'll over sleep on the bus :D Hehhhhhh. Watching Pirates of the Carribean with Momma & Joey on tuesday, not confirmed though. Gna do maths while watching Cantonese DVD later! :D
8:38 PM NICOLE♥
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Okay, today was like superrrrrrrrrr sian. Chat with ys on msn, useless talks. ROFL :
Preparing to go lagoon to eat. Fats/ but whatever.
Not going Melissa's house cause her parents wna go out to eat till around 9pm? So no point going or like stopping them from going.
Gotta take bus tomorrow. Zzzzzzzz? Don't even understand why MrsLee has to like move the supplementry lesson later. Gna have traffic jam & stuff -.- Totally screwed luhhhhhh. Will have alot of time to think about useless stuff. Heh? Whatever.
4:36 PM NICOLE♥
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BOREDBOREDBORED. But, I LOVE PHOTOSHOP!
12:48 AM NICOLE♥
Saturday, June 2, 2007.
Watched 200 Pounds Beauty already. When almost everyone in the world have already watched.
Cried throughout the ending. Super niceeee :D I love the songs.
I love her voice. I love the story.
To watch with english subtitles, go: www.youtube.com > search: 200pb
6:35 PM NICOLE♥
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I want a lover I don't have to love. I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk. Where's the kid with the chemicals? I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full. I need some meaning I can memorize. The kind I have always seems to slip my mind.
But you, but you...
You write such pretty words, But life's no storybook. Love's an excuse to get hurt. And to hurt. Do you like to hurt? I do, I do.
It was in the March of the winter, I turned seventeen That I bought those pills I thought I would need And I wrote a letter to my family Said it's not your fault And you've been good to me It's just lately I've been feeling Like I don't belong Like the ground's not mine to walk upon And I've heard that music Echo through the house Where my grandmother drank By herself And I sat watching a flower As it was withering I was embarrassed by it's honesty So I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face Not this fucking wreck That's taken its place
Ok, so I didn't put my braces cause I needa expansion of jaw, then needa wait cause PSLE coming then parents scared I can't speak properly. LOL LUHHHHHH.
Woke up, went to Wishma(or whatever you spell it) After me & dad checked up our teeths & stuff, momma paid then went to eat Sushi Tei.
$60, heng not my money? LOL.
momma's fake smile :O And stupid robot look-.-
Yesterday night was super sian. Wanted to find out how to use my freaking scanner, Then coincidentally found my, um, Corel Trial Photoshop. Officially installed it in my computer.
& it was pretty fun. Change this picture.
And became.
AHAHAHA.
1:52 PM NICOLE♥
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Okay, due to my mother's blurness(-.-), she said that maybe tomorrow only doing the checkup or whatever): But nevermind, at least I get to talk as per normal for a few more days. LOL.
Return of tags :D Yongxin > Aha, Okay. Danica > Not sure yet, but most probably? :D Ash > Aha :D Cs > What 50+ ? Weight? 41kg : ENchater > Cs shorter than you luh. AHAHA. Ulrika > Okay :D
12:10 AM NICOLE♥
Friday, June 1, 2007.
Oh, so from yesterday's post. After waiting for melissa for 8 hours, she came and was like 'sorrysorrysorry' Ignore a little while, then went swimming, kinda talked. Then that luh. LOL-.-
Swim.swim.swim. Lose weight Lose weight. But I'm kinda losing t feeling to lose weight. Hungry. After swimming for around 20minutes? Talked to Melissa about her-.-
Then gah, told her the fact? LOL :/
Went home, bathe. Studied a little while. Ah, a veryveryverylittle while. Melissa doing hermy homework. LOL :/ Started to get bored.. So..
LOL. Laughed at it for around 20minutes luh. Cute stars? LOL.
And after much consideration, we started to bake cookies? LOL, very sudden.
But my mother, being a obsessed baker, she's got like almost everything in the kitchen. So just got a recipe for her and started baking.
Our very serious attitude. And when it is in the oven.. Camwhoreeeee.
6eye melissa :D
Oh so, my maid started to do the rest. LOL.
She being very haolian, don't wna let me snap her. So that explains the super blur picture.
& tada, super nice cookies.
yadayada, played, while doing tuition homework. Was around 11 already? Totally like rushed through.
After doing, watched a episode of Gangster 15, too boringgggg, so went to like roll & the bed. Eat chips. Then slept. _____________________________________________
Today. Woke up around 7 45? Joey called to like remind us that she's coming at 8. Me & Mel actually wna wake up already. Then I forgot whose idea was it to like quickly change and get ready everything, then continue to like fake sleep?
Joey came. me & mel was on the bed,(different, mind you.), fake sleeping. Then being the nice(that's what she wanted me to say) Joey didn't wake us up, and just stood near my room door.
After awhile was super sian already. So me and Melissa went to like boo-ed her. She kinda freaked out, I think. Laughed Laughed.
So went to tuition. Walked home, pretty fun. Pictures. I deleted pretty lot.
I know I look ugly/bald/stupid. But whatever.
Joey going to my house till 2pm? Then I'll go to hers till 4pm? or 5pm? with Melissa. Was super fun. Ate maggimee, super hot, my whole face turned red. LOL.
Danced all type of dances, laugh like crazy, even Melissa couldn't stop me & Joey. LOL. Yes, we are mad.
Played chodadi. Ownage! :DDD Melissa drunk salt water, :/ It's healthy okay. LOL.
Around 2? Joey's dad fetched me & melissa to her house. Played with soap, water, hot water, cold water, hair. Sprayed coldest water on each other.
Very lame. But uber fun. Joey was like screaming for help throughout. HAHA.
After that, went to watch MBCB's Sydney video part 1. LOL, laughing at Melissa & Joey. ROFL :/ They look superrrrr funny.
Went home, Melissa's father fetched. Lazy to elaborateeeeee.
Gna ask Mom if I can sleepover at Melissa house on Sunday :DD
Oh & I'm going to put my braces tomorrow. I think, should be. Best time cause they say it's gna be super pain & I won't eat that much. Heeeeee, So I think I deserve to eat alot later right. LOL.
5:18 PM NICOLE♥
Thursday, May 31, 2007.
>> > >>>Hokkien Titanic> >> > >>>> >>> >>> Scene 1:> >> > >>> Jack: Hey siao eh? Me teach you anchua fly, want or not? Rose: Mai lah. I scare leh . Jack: No need scare leh, lai i teachyou . Rose: Don't lar, me really scare leh . Jack: Lai lar, stand on the railing,then I hug you . Rose: Like thet huh? Jack: Yah, then hor, spread ur arms...Wah lau eh, why so smelly one? Rose: Kan ni na...You say my armpit smell ah! Jack: Wah I bey tar han already lar! Jack fainted & both fell into the sea..
Scene 2: One fine day, late at night, Jack Duakang was on the deck of Titanic when he heard some loud footsteps. He looked to see what was going on, and he saw a super chio about to jump off the deck . He walked over and tried to persuade her not to jump . Jack: Chio eh, lee si an zua? So late dun sleep do what? What's your name? Rose: My name is Mei Ku, but people call me Rose . Jack: Nah Beh...Why you so chio, but your name like the mamasan at ZhongGuo Chen (China City) . Rose: Shut up lah you, I now want to jump . Jack: Why jump? Siao ah you, so chio jump for what? Rose: Aiyah why you so kaypo? I jump you jump? Jack: Wah lau, don't lahaiyah . So Jack continued to persuade her for a few hours. After three hours... Jack: Eh don't jump leh, don't lah , siao ah you ? Rose: Aiya, you talk for three hours liao, buay sian meh?? Jack: Ya lor, i think oso a bit sian liao. So, please lah, don't jump lah.. Rose: Shut-up I am really jumping liao . Jack was tired, so he stopped persuading... Rose: I really jump ah, really ah ? Really ah ? Really leh. I am not joking leh, I jump ah!!! Jack was very du lan after wasting somuch time. So, he kicked Rose's KaCheng and sent her into her watery grave . Jack: Nah Beh, want to jump, jump lah. NAh beh wasste my time. Then Jack turned around and he saw the second most beautiful girl on the ship... Jack: Oei chio eh, what's your name? Hibiscus: Me Hibiscus lor . I saw you kick my sister .Hahahahahahhh! Thank you hor . She always steal my boyfriends one. So Jack and Hibiscus live happily everafter
1:07 PM NICOLE♥
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Changed skin, almost like everyday. So when I was coding this skin (current one), I accidently erase my exblog skin's html!!! So now I can't like submit my ex blogskin >):
Okay, nevermind. Melissa said that she'll reach at 7am so I like drag myself to wake up. So late already still haven't reach, then bloodynehneh, SHE'S STILL SLEEEEEEEEPINGGGG! DANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
Make me wake up from my beauty sleep, then now, 11AM, SHE STILL SLEEPING. AHHHHH.
Her dad say she will reach after lunch. If she's late or whatever again. I'll gorge out her eyeballs.
HAHAHAHA.
Wtf!! I just scold Melissa stupid a few times on the phone & my father is like what "oi, you don't be so vulgar" WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF.
10:54 AM NICOLE♥
Wednesday, May 30, 2007.
ZOMFG! HOLY GOSHHHHHHHHHH. I know this is my very stupid fifth post for the day but AND I'M OUGHT TO/ SHOULD/ MUST GO ON DIETTTTTTT. I'm must/ought to/should go swimming tomorrow. I'll skip breakfast.
morning - plain bread recess - own water and if veryveryvery hungry, 50c mushroom soup. lunch. unless veryveryvery hungry, only can eat noodles. if not try not to eat hightea- gth, cannot. dinner- dinner supper- cup of milo if veryveryvery hungry :D
8:21 PM NICOLE♥
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THE WHOS Who is your bestfriend? . Darhlings? Alot. Who is your form teacher? . Mdm Tee Lian Choon Who are you thinking of now? . Homework. (my 'friendly' neighbourhood workwork, LOL) Who would you want to be with now? . Darhlings. Who do you support for American Idol 6? . I don't watch this kind of show. :3 Who do you want to be? . Myself
THE WHATS What is your name? . Nicole What is your height and weight? . 158cm & 41kg What do you do for a living? . Schooling,Sleeping,Slacking! ;D What kind of house do you live in? . Condominium. What is your favourite colour? . Pink&Black&White&Grey&Brown. What do you do when you are angry? . Umm, keep quiet :x
THE WHYS Why do you think you are unique? . Im not unique in any way. Why do you think you have time to do this survey? . Because i have time. (: Why did you join Friendster? . For fun?
THE WHENS When were you born? . 13july1995 When did you started schooling? . 4 Years Old lahh! When did you last cry? . Forgot, and don't wish to remember When did you say "I love you"? . I love you computer. Now. When is the next holiday? . JUNE. (super boring)
THE WHERES Where do you stay? . Singapore. Where do you go to school? . Mbs Where do you hang out after school? . Home & shops near school? Where do you study? . Classroooooooooms. Where do you go to relax? . Bathroom&Bed. Where is the best place to be? . Home? __________________________________________________
Were you a planned baby? - Yes, i think :D Were you the first? - Nope. Who was present at your birth? - Parents, Doctor, Nurses. Were your parents married when you were born? - Of course luh. What is your birth date? - 13th July 1995
Part 2: The Family An only child? - Absolutely nope! If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest? - Youngest... T_T What are your sibling's names? - Mark[elder brother]. Which parent do you get along with best? - Almost the same? What do you fight about with your parents? - Freedom.
Part 3: The Friends Do you have more than one best friend? - Of course lah! What do you like to do when you are together? - Laugh, Joke, Gossip, Slack. Do you share the same interests? - Some. Which friend can you tell everything to? - Darhlings?
Part 4: Your Personality How high/low is your self esteem? - Urm... medium! Do you get depressed about things easily? - Depends on what things :D. Do you consider yourself an extrovert (outgoing) or an introvert (reserved?) - BOTH! Are you happy? - Bored Do you live life to the fullest? - I don't know. :
Part 5: Appearance Are you comfortable with the way you look? - No Describe your hair? - ShoulderLength... How do you dress? - Singaporean Style :D.
Part 6: The Past Were you a strange child? - No... Do you have the same friends? - Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing? - Don't know. Are you scared of growing old? - Im already growing old. : what do you think? Do you want to get married? - Didn't think so far?
Part 8: The Outdoors Do you prefer indoors or outdoors? - Both lahs! Favorite Season? - Winter&Spring&Autumn. Do you like walking in the rain? - Yes&No.
Part 9: Food Are you a vegetarian? - I pity vegetarian... What is your favorite food? - Is there a need to say all? T.T What food makes you want to gag? - Brinjer, Fish's Eye. What is your favorite dessert? - ICECREAMMMMMMMMM __________________________________________________
I actually went home straight after school. Okay, nevermind.
MrsLee was obviously kinda pissed with me today. But whatever. I've to like write damned reflections.
OH I'M SO SORRY! -_-!
Homework. She gave homework like as if she's giving us money or something. Synthesis, Close passage, Maths Activity, Newspaper article.. etc.
Alot of people didn't do the homework she gave yesterday. Call parents. Apologise. The usuals. Whatever shit.
Melissa's sleeping over tomorrow. Anything.
I just wna go out. THIS INSTANTTTTT!
I miss tickling Jezrika >): __________________________________________________
Neoprints taken at Century square with Jezrika,Joey,Yingshi & Melissa :D
12:39 PM NICOLE♥
Tuesday, May 29, 2007.
001: 4 Names in Your Inbox. -Jezrika, Joey, Melissa, Andrea
002: Your main ringtone? -SilentMode
003: What do you do at 12 last night? -Blogging.
004: Who was the last person you went out with? Where? - Jezrika, Joey, Melissa, Yingshi - TampinesMall
005: The colour of the T-Shirt you're wearing now. -Red
006: The last thing you did before this. -Doing assessment.
007: 3 of your everyday Essentials. -Water,Food&Money.
008: What colour is Your room? -White&Pink
009: How much money in your wallet now? -$2
010: How's Life? -Full of UPS and DOWNS.
011: Your Favourite City? -All except Singapore.
012: What will you do next weekend? -Stay at home? Out?
013: When was the last time you met your mother? -This morning?
014: Where is she now? -In her office?
015: When was the last time you talk to her? -this morning.
016: Who was the last person who texted you? -Daddy
017: Where did you have your dinner last night? -At home.
018: Last television proggramme you watched? -Campus superstar
019: Last thing you've borrowed from your friend. -Urmm...Let me think. BluePen!!! :D
020: How do you feel now? -Bored?
021: What do you order at MACS? -McNuggets.
022: The last time you felt sad. -Noooooooooow.
023: Status? -Single :D
024: Wish you were with the someone special right now? -Not really?
025: Favourite Colour? -Pink&Red.
026: Favourite Hangout? -Tm,School, home
027: Have you ever cried for a girl/guy? -Yes! Both. :D
028: Have you ever cry over a teacher? NO, lol.
029: What is your all-time favourite romance movie? -Urm, Im not sure.
030: How many times have you honestly been in Love? - 0? LOL.
031: Do you believe that everyone has a soulmate? -I guess so?
032: Do you think that you should put your friends first? -Yes,yes! :X 033: Have you ever had your heart brokened? -Nahhhhhhhhh!
034: Your thought on online relationships. -um, no comments? LOL.
035: Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend? -Yes, oh my lala.
036: Do you believe in this statement, "Once a cheater always a cheater"? -Nope! If that person is willing to turn over a new leaf.
037: How many kids do you want to have? -Didn't think so far?
038: What are your views on gay marriage? -Perfectly alright :D!
039: At what age did you start noticing the opposite sex? -Idk? LOL. 040: What song do you want to hear at your Wedding? -Urm, not sure.
041: Do you know someone who likes you? -No.
042: If you can, who do you want to spent your life with forever? - Don't know.
043: How many ex do you have? - 0? LOL.
044: Still a virgin? -OHMYTOOOOOOOOOOT! Duhh...
045: Before you end this, make a wish. -Get good results for all my examinations for PSLE & more $ :D And then pass this on to 7 peoples. `A `N `Y `O `N `E `That are interested in doing it.
Hahahahaha
3:41 PM NICOLE♥
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12:57 PM NICOLE♥
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Today was totally, alright. ROFL, Went to school.
& Scott took my keychain, or was it braclet. Whatever. He snatched it. Mind you, quarreledddd. Yadayada.
3hours of Science. Was okay, but if it was English & Maths. ZZZZZZ!
Hopes
& Rebond hair
& Contact lens
& Braces
& More piercing
& More clothes
& Minutes to midnight/ Linkin Park
& More cash
& New computer
& T.V in my room!
& Audition!
& scanner / for computer
& Own Ipod Nano